humor

humor

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

Dec 21, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

There's a store in my neighborhood called Futon World. I like that name, 'Futon World.' Makes me think of a magical place that gets less and less comfortable over time.

There's a store in my neighborhood called Futon World. I like that name, 'Futon World.' Makes me think of a magical place that gets less and less comfortable over time.

Dec 21, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said, 'Actual'. I'm not to scale.

I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said, 'Actual'. I'm not to scale.

Dec 21, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Another term for balloon is bad breath holder.

Another term for balloon is bad breath holder.

Dec 21, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

A lot of people don't like bumper stickers. I don't mind bumper stickers. To me a bumper sticker is a shortcut. It's like a little sign that says 'Hey, let's never hang out.'

A lot of people don't like bumper stickers. I don't mind bumper stickers. To me a bumper sticker is a shortcut. It's like a little sign that says 'Hey, let's never hang out.'

Dec 21, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.

My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.

Dec 21, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

Dec 21, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude.' 'Dude, these are isotopes.' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine.' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies.'

I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude.' 'Dude, these are isotopes.' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine.' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies.'

Dec 21, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'.

I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'.

Dec 21, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Saying, 'I'm sorry' is the same as saying, 'I apologize.' Except at a funeral.

Saying, 'I'm sorry' is the same as saying, 'I apologize.' Except at a funeral.

Dec 21, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I noticed that there are no B batteries. I think that's to avoid confusion, cause if there were you wouldn't know if someone was stuttering. 'Yes, hello I'd like some b-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries!' and D-batteries that's hard for foreigners. 'Yes, I would like de batteries.'

I noticed that there are no B batteries. I think that's to avoid confusion, cause if there were you wouldn't know if someone was stuttering. 'Yes, hello I'd like some b-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries!' and D-batteries that's hard for foreigners. 'Yes, I would like de batteries.'

Dec 21, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs.

I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs.

Dec 21, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

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