humor

humor

It seemed weird calling a teenager 'sir' but I'd learned to be careful with immortals. They tended to get offended easily. Then, they blew stuff up.

It seemed weird calling a teenager 'sir' but I'd learned to be careful with immortals. They tended to get offended easily. Then, they blew stuff up.

Jul 02, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Are you always a smartass?'Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep.

Are you always a smartass?'Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep.

Jul 02, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

Jul 02, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I have a high pain threshold. In fact, it's more of a large and tastfully decorated foyer than a threshold. But I do get easily bored

I have a high pain threshold. In fact, it's more of a large and tastfully decorated foyer than a threshold. But I do get easily bored

Jul 02, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed," but most of us would say something more along the lines of, "Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!

If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed," but most of us would say something more along the lines of, "Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!

Jul 02, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.

There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.

Jul 02, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

French name, English accent, American school. Anna confused.

French name, English accent, American school. Anna confused.

Jul 02, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Technically, I am unarmed. But no one should ever underestimate the harm that fingernails can do. Especially if the target is unprepared.

Technically, I am unarmed. But no one should ever underestimate the harm that fingernails can do. Especially if the target is unprepared.

Jul 02, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

The world is a stage and the play is badly cast.

The world is a stage and the play is badly cast.

Jul 02, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I told Augustus the broad outline of my miracle: diagnosed with Stage IV thyroid cancer when I was thirteen. (I didn’t tell him that the diagnosis came three months after I got my first period. Like: Congratulations! You’re a woman. Now die.)

I told Augustus the broad outline of my miracle: diagnosed with Stage IV thyroid cancer when I was thirteen. (I didn’t tell him that the diagnosis came three months after I got my first period. Like: Congratulations! You’re a woman. Now die.)

Jul 02, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Hey, Rosalie? Do you know how to drown a blonde? Stick a mirror to the bottom of a pool.

Hey, Rosalie? Do you know how to drown a blonde? Stick a mirror to the bottom of a pool.

Jul 02, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

People have an annoying habit of remembering things they shouldn't.

People have an annoying habit of remembering things they shouldn't.

Jul 02, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Your experience on this site will be improved by allowing cookies.