humor

humor

Old is always fifteen years from now.

Old is always fifteen years from now.

Nov 30, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I wasn't always black... there was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger.

I wasn't always black... there was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger.

Nov 30, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.

I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.

Nov 30, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.

Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.

Nov 30, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

So I was getting into my car and this bloke says to me, 'Can you give me a lift?' I said, 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it!'

So I was getting into my car and this bloke says to me, 'Can you give me a lift?' I said, 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it!'

Nov 30, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

Nov 30, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.

I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.

Nov 30, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'

I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'

Nov 30, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

Nov 30, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone.

Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone.

Nov 30, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

Nov 30, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Too often, the opportunity knocks, but by the time you push back the chain, push back the bolt, unhook the two locks and shut off the burglar alarm, it's too late.

Too often, the opportunity knocks, but by the time you push back the chain, push back the bolt, unhook the two locks and shut off the burglar alarm, it's too late.

Nov 30, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

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