humor

humor

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

Nov 30, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

Nov 30, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

Nov 30, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

Nov 30, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.

Nov 30, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done".

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done".

Nov 30, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

Nov 30, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

Nov 30, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.

In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.

Nov 30, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure.

The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure.

Nov 30, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius.

The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius.

Nov 30, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.

Nov 30, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

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