humor

humor

Fine, but if you get yourself killed I reserve the right to flush your ashes down the toilet while I sing the theme from Titanic.

Fine, but if you get yourself killed I reserve the right to flush your ashes down the toilet while I sing the theme from Titanic.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Oh, for Christ's sake,' I hear. 'Can we please just try to have a good time?' This is like ordering someone to find you attractive, and it doesn't work. I've tried it.

Oh, for Christ's sake,' I hear. 'Can we please just try to have a good time?' This is like ordering someone to find you attractive, and it doesn't work. I've tried it.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Roar's smile widened. "I know. You missed me." She rolled her eyes. "It's barely been three weeks since I last saw you.""Miserable stretch of time." He said.

Roar's smile widened. "I know. You missed me." She rolled her eyes. "It's barely been three weeks since I last saw you.""Miserable stretch of time." He said.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Looks like Kelsey wins the award for early riser. And doesn’t she look purtier than a pat of butter meltin’ all over a stack of griddle cakes?

Looks like Kelsey wins the award for early riser. And doesn’t she look purtier than a pat of butter meltin’ all over a stack of griddle cakes?

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I've said it before and I'll say it again, my lord. You are an evil man.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, my lord. You are an evil man.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

How did you find me? If you hacked into the Club’s computer to look up my appointments - "“Whoa, I think you overestimate me, shitlord. Last time I checked all I did was be in the wrong place at the right time. I saw you and had to - ”“Stalk me.”“ - delicately approach you. In a sideways manner. From behind. Without being seen at all. For ten minutes.

How did you find me? If you hacked into the Club’s computer to look up my appointments - "“Whoa, I think you overestimate me, shitlord. Last time I checked all I did was be in the wrong place at the right time. I saw you and had to - ”“Stalk me.”“ - delicately approach you. In a sideways manner. From behind. Without being seen at all. For ten minutes.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Oh, man," Xavier groaned. "See what you've done--now I'm stressing.""You can't! You're the stable one!"Xavier laughed and I realized his distress had been feigned to illustrate a point. He wasn't worried in the slightest."Just relax. Go and run a bath or have a shot of brandy.""Okay.""That second bit was a joke. We both know you can't hold your liquor.

Oh, man," Xavier groaned. "See what you've done--now I'm stressing.""You can't! You're the stable one!"Xavier laughed and I realized his distress had been feigned to illustrate a point. He wasn't worried in the slightest."Just relax. Go and run a bath or have a shot of brandy.""Okay.""That second bit was a joke. We both know you can't hold your liquor.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

If not for me being stoned and clinging to a taco, it would have been terribly romantic.

If not for me being stoned and clinging to a taco, it would have been terribly romantic.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Corrival looked around. 'So is this it? Is everyone here? Erskine, maybe you should start the ball rolling. I have places to go and things to do.''Me?' Ravel asked. 'Why do I have to start it? You're the most respected mage here. You start it, or Skulduggery.'Skulduggery shook his head. 'I can't start it. I don't like most of these people. I might start shooting.

Corrival looked around. 'So is this it? Is everyone here? Erskine, maybe you should start the ball rolling. I have places to go and things to do.''Me?' Ravel asked. 'Why do I have to start it? You're the most respected mage here. You start it, or Skulduggery.'Skulduggery shook his head. 'I can't start it. I don't like most of these people. I might start shooting.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.

Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

My ears are too beeg for my head. My head ees too beeg for my body. I am not a Siamese cat ... I AM A CHIHUAHUA!"

My ears are too beeg for my head. My head ees too beeg for my body. I am not a Siamese cat ... I AM A CHIHUAHUA!"

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

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