humor

humor

A novelist can’t be without a kimono and pen!(Shigure)

A novelist can’t be without a kimono and pen!(Shigure)

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

When I die, I want them to bury me facedown and ass up so that the whole world can kiss my ass!

When I die, I want them to bury me facedown and ass up so that the whole world can kiss my ass!

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

If you tell people you talk to God, they'll think you're religious, but if you say God talks to you, it's ten to one they'll think you're crazy.

If you tell people you talk to God, they'll think you're religious, but if you say God talks to you, it's ten to one they'll think you're crazy.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

There was a sound like a human yawn, and then the skull turned slightly toward me and asked, "What's up, boss?""Evil's afoot.""Well, sure," Bob said, "because it refuses to learn the metric system. Otherwise it'd be up to a meter by now.

There was a sound like a human yawn, and then the skull turned slightly toward me and asked, "What's up, boss?""Evil's afoot.""Well, sure," Bob said, "because it refuses to learn the metric system. Otherwise it'd be up to a meter by now.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Don’t do anything stupid.""Don’t worry," I whispered over the line, "I’m an expert on stupid.""You’re...""Like, I can spot stupidity, because I know it so well. The way an exterminator knows bugs really well, and can spot where they’ve been? I’m like that. A stupidinator.""Never say that word again," Prof said.

Don’t do anything stupid.""Don’t worry," I whispered over the line, "I’m an expert on stupid.""You’re...""Like, I can spot stupidity, because I know it so well. The way an exterminator knows bugs really well, and can spot where they’ve been? I’m like that. A stupidinator.""Never say that word again," Prof said.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Patience is a virtue and the best things in life are worth waiting for.

Patience is a virtue and the best things in life are worth waiting for.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Vengeance is sweet. Vengeance taken when the vengee isn't sure who the venger is, is sweeter still.

Vengeance is sweet. Vengeance taken when the vengee isn't sure who the venger is, is sweeter still.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Don't explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin.

Don't explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Everyone is born creative; everyone is given a box of crayons in kindergarten. Then when you hit puberty they take the crayons away and replace them with dry, uninspiring books on algebra, history, etc. Being suddenly hit years later with the 'creative bug' is just a wee voice telling you, 'I'd like my crayons back, please.

Everyone is born creative; everyone is given a box of crayons in kindergarten. Then when you hit puberty they take the crayons away and replace them with dry, uninspiring books on algebra, history, etc. Being suddenly hit years later with the 'creative bug' is just a wee voice telling you, 'I'd like my crayons back, please.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

The sun rose slowly, as if it wasn't sure it was worth all the effort.

The sun rose slowly, as if it wasn't sure it was worth all the effort.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I sat down and tried to write a story."Ian MacArthur is a wonderful sweet fellow who wears glasses and peers out of them with delight."That was the first sentence. The problem was that I just couldn't think of the next one. After cleaning my room three times, I decided to leave Ian alone for a while because I was starting to get mad at him.

I sat down and tried to write a story."Ian MacArthur is a wonderful sweet fellow who wears glasses and peers out of them with delight."That was the first sentence. The problem was that I just couldn't think of the next one. After cleaning my room three times, I decided to leave Ian alone for a while because I was starting to get mad at him.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

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