humor

humor

What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.

What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.

Jul 04, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

Jul 04, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel better about a terrible situation.

Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel better about a terrible situation.

Jul 04, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

He f**ks even better than he looks”, I settled on saying. Several heads turned. I didn’t care; I was pissed. “And that beautiful face is going to be clamped between my legs as soon as we get home, don’t you worry.

He f**ks even better than he looks”, I settled on saying. Several heads turned. I didn’t care; I was pissed. “And that beautiful face is going to be clamped between my legs as soon as we get home, don’t you worry.

Jul 04, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Although I was able to maintain a pleasant expression, I was mentally throwing up in her face.

Although I was able to maintain a pleasant expression, I was mentally throwing up in her face.

Jul 04, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

We are not going to die." Butters stared up at me, pale, his eyes terrified. "We're not?" "No. And do you know why?" He shook his head. "Because Thomas is too pretty to die. And because I'm too stubborn to die." I hauled on the shirt even harder. "And most of all because tomorrow is Oktoberfest, Butters, and polka will never die.

We are not going to die." Butters stared up at me, pale, his eyes terrified. "We're not?" "No. And do you know why?" He shook his head. "Because Thomas is too pretty to die. And because I'm too stubborn to die." I hauled on the shirt even harder. "And most of all because tomorrow is Oktoberfest, Butters, and polka will never die.

Jul 04, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

Jul 04, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.

I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.

Jul 04, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.

Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.

Jul 04, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Some of the worst mistakes in my life were haircuts

Some of the worst mistakes in my life were haircuts

Jul 04, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Leo couldn't help smiling. "That could be fun.""Fun" she said unhappily."Blue elephants.""Blue elephants.""Kiss me you fool.""You fool.

Leo couldn't help smiling. "That could be fun.""Fun" she said unhappily."Blue elephants.""Blue elephants.""Kiss me you fool.""You fool.

Jul 04, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Jul 04, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

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