humor

humor

It doesn’t matter what temperature a room is, it’s always room temperature.

It doesn’t matter what temperature a room is, it’s always room temperature.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Thomas: Is it [my brain] fixed?Brenda: It worked, judging from the fact that you're not trying to kill us anymore...

Thomas: Is it [my brain] fixed?Brenda: It worked, judging from the fact that you're not trying to kill us anymore...

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Leo: I'm almost out of gas! Woah, that came out wrong. I meant the burning kind!

Leo: I'm almost out of gas! Woah, that came out wrong. I meant the burning kind!

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

The thing I hate the most about advertising is that it attracts all the bright, creative and ambitious young people, leaving us mainly with the slow and self-obsessed to become our artists.. Modern art is a disaster area. Never in the field of human history has so much been used by so many to say so little.

The thing I hate the most about advertising is that it attracts all the bright, creative and ambitious young people, leaving us mainly with the slow and self-obsessed to become our artists.. Modern art is a disaster area. Never in the field of human history has so much been used by so many to say so little.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Georgie, stop trying to resurrect the shoes. They were never alive in the first place.

Georgie, stop trying to resurrect the shoes. They were never alive in the first place.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.

Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Guns are our friends because in a country without guns, I'm what's known as "prey." All females are.

Guns are our friends because in a country without guns, I'm what's known as "prey." All females are.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Millard! Who's the prime minister?""Winston Churchill," he said. "Have you gone daft?""What's the capital of Burma?""Lord, I've no idea. Rangoon?""Good! When's your birthday?""Will you quit shouting and let me bleed in peace!

Millard! Who's the prime minister?""Winston Churchill," he said. "Have you gone daft?""What's the capital of Burma?""Lord, I've no idea. Rangoon?""Good! When's your birthday?""Will you quit shouting and let me bleed in peace!

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker.

I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever seen that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. ‘Come on, buddy, let’s go. You get past me, the guy in the back of me, he’s got a spoon. Back off, I’ve got the toe clippers right here.

The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever seen that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. ‘Come on, buddy, let’s go. You get past me, the guy in the back of me, he’s got a spoon. Back off, I’ve got the toe clippers right here.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

If I was on the road to Hell, at least I was going in style.

If I was on the road to Hell, at least I was going in style.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Well, man, you know what they say."No, I don't. I don't know what they say. I don't even know who they are. Who is this they? They seem pretty smug. They seem to think they know shit. Fuck them.

Well, man, you know what they say."No, I don't. I don't know what they say. I don't even know who they are. Who is this they? They seem pretty smug. They seem to think they know shit. Fuck them.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

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