humor

humor

As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.

As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.

Jul 02, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

Jul 02, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Also, I'm sleeping with your mom. Just thought you should know.

Also, I'm sleeping with your mom. Just thought you should know.

Jul 02, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Look at me!Look at me!Look at me NOW!It is fun to have funBut you have to know how.

Look at me!Look at me!Look at me NOW!It is fun to have funBut you have to know how.

Jul 02, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

So it's true. You can walk in sunlight. I thought perhaps it might have worn off.""If I feel the urge to burst into flames, I'll let you know.

So it's true. You can walk in sunlight. I thought perhaps it might have worn off.""If I feel the urge to burst into flames, I'll let you know.

Jul 02, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I never made one of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking

I never made one of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking

Jul 02, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I've got the Mark of Cain," said Simon. "That means nothing can kill me, right?""You can kill yourself," Magnus said, somewhat unhelpfully. "As far as I know, inanimate objects can accidentally kill you. So if you were planning on teaching yourself the lambada on a greased platform over a pit full of knives, I wouldn't.""There goes my Saturday.

I've got the Mark of Cain," said Simon. "That means nothing can kill me, right?""You can kill yourself," Magnus said, somewhat unhelpfully. "As far as I know, inanimate objects can accidentally kill you. So if you were planning on teaching yourself the lambada on a greased platform over a pit full of knives, I wouldn't.""There goes my Saturday.

Jul 02, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

So this is it," said Arthur, "We are going to die.""Yes," said Ford, "except... no! Wait a minute!" He suddenly lunged across the chamber at something behind Arthur's line of vision. "What's this switch?" he cried."What? Where?" cried Arthur, twisting round."No, I was only fooling," said Ford, "we are going to die after all.

So this is it," said Arthur, "We are going to die.""Yes," said Ford, "except... no! Wait a minute!" He suddenly lunged across the chamber at something behind Arthur's line of vision. "What's this switch?" he cried."What? Where?" cried Arthur, twisting round."No, I was only fooling," said Ford, "we are going to die after all.

Jul 02, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

You're so full of crap, you could pass for a toilet.

You're so full of crap, you could pass for a toilet.

Jul 02, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

By the Angel," Jace said, looking the demon up and down. "I knew Greater Demons were meant to be ugly, but no one ever warned me about the smell."Abbadon opened its mouth and hissed. Inside its mouth were two rows of jagged glass-sharp teeth."I'm not sure about this wind and howling darkness business," Jace went on, "smells more like landfill to me. You sure you're not from Staten Island?

By the Angel," Jace said, looking the demon up and down. "I knew Greater Demons were meant to be ugly, but no one ever warned me about the smell."Abbadon opened its mouth and hissed. Inside its mouth were two rows of jagged glass-sharp teeth."I'm not sure about this wind and howling darkness business," Jace went on, "smells more like landfill to me. You sure you're not from Staten Island?

Jul 02, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Pretty soon the only people left without a girlfriend will be me and Wendell the school janitor, and he smells like windex.""At least you know he's still available.

Pretty soon the only people left without a girlfriend will be me and Wendell the school janitor, and he smells like windex.""At least you know he's still available.

Jul 02, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Lawful good to lawful evil!" said Simon, pleased."He's quoting Dungeons and Dragons," said Clary. "Ignore him.

Lawful good to lawful evil!" said Simon, pleased."He's quoting Dungeons and Dragons," said Clary. "Ignore him.

Jul 02, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

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