humor

humor

Oh, dear God and baby Jesus in the manger, my eyes!” Dee shrieked. “My eyes!

Oh, dear God and baby Jesus in the manger, my eyes!” Dee shrieked. “My eyes!

Jul 04, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything.

Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything.

Jul 04, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Meaning what? We're going to pretend nothing's going on? That's stupid. The only way to deal with any of this is to get it out in the open."Have you been watching Oprah again?

Meaning what? We're going to pretend nothing's going on? That's stupid. The only way to deal with any of this is to get it out in the open."Have you been watching Oprah again?

Jul 04, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

If I ever meet myself,' said Zaphod, 'I'll hit myself so hard I won't know what's hit me.

If I ever meet myself,' said Zaphod, 'I'll hit myself so hard I won't know what's hit me.

Jul 04, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie.

We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie.

Jul 04, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter... or at least, most minds are...

The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter... or at least, most minds are...

Jul 04, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Jul 04, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Well, while you were in the bathroom, I sat down at this picnic table here in Bumblefug, Kentucky, and noticed that someone had carved that GOD HATES FAG, which, aside from being a grammatical nightmare, is absolutely ridiculous. So I'm changing it to 'God Hates Baguettes.' It's tough to disagree with that. Everybody hates baguettes.

Well, while you were in the bathroom, I sat down at this picnic table here in Bumblefug, Kentucky, and noticed that someone had carved that GOD HATES FAG, which, aside from being a grammatical nightmare, is absolutely ridiculous. So I'm changing it to 'God Hates Baguettes.' It's tough to disagree with that. Everybody hates baguettes.

Jul 04, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Interviewer: 'So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?'Frank Zappa: 'You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?

Interviewer: 'So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?'Frank Zappa: 'You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?

Jul 04, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

Jul 04, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said. China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me.

They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said. China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me.

Jul 04, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Gym should be illegal. It's humiliating.

Gym should be illegal. It's humiliating.

Jul 04, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

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