humor

humor

I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was "Quote" so the last thing I said before I died would be "Unquote.

I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was "Quote" so the last thing I said before I died would be "Unquote.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I like girls who eat Carrots. ~ Louis Tomlinson

I like girls who eat Carrots. ~ Louis Tomlinson

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum

I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I get it,' said the prisoner. 'Good Cop, Bad Cop, eh?'If you like.' said Vimes. 'But we're a bit short staffed here, so if I give you a cigarette would you mind kicking yourself in the teeth?

I get it,' said the prisoner. 'Good Cop, Bad Cop, eh?'If you like.' said Vimes. 'But we're a bit short staffed here, so if I give you a cigarette would you mind kicking yourself in the teeth?

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I gave him my best cryptic smile. He did not fall down to his feet, kiss my shoes, and promise me the world. I must be getting rusty.

I gave him my best cryptic smile. He did not fall down to his feet, kiss my shoes, and promise me the world. I must be getting rusty.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Gimme an S! A T! An O! A C! Followed by a K-H-O-L-M! What's it spell? HEAD FUCK.- Jane

Gimme an S! A T! An O! A C! Followed by a K-H-O-L-M! What's it spell? HEAD FUCK.- Jane

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Don't mess with a wizard when he's wizarding!

Don't mess with a wizard when he's wizarding!

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Discipline allows magic. To be a writer is to be the very best of assassins. You do not sit down and write every day to force the Muse to show up. You get into the habit of writing every day so that when she shows up, you have the maximum chance of catching her, bashing her on the head, and squeezing every last drop out of that bitch.

Discipline allows magic. To be a writer is to be the very best of assassins. You do not sit down and write every day to force the Muse to show up. You get into the habit of writing every day so that when she shows up, you have the maximum chance of catching her, bashing her on the head, and squeezing every last drop out of that bitch.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Before I could lose my courage, I said, "Don't I get a kiss for luck? It's kind of a tradition, right?"I figured she would punch me. Instead, she drew her knife and stared at the army marching toward us. "Come back alive, Seaweed Brain. Then, we'll see.

Before I could lose my courage, I said, "Don't I get a kiss for luck? It's kind of a tradition, right?"I figured she would punch me. Instead, she drew her knife and stared at the army marching toward us. "Come back alive, Seaweed Brain. Then, we'll see.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I'll go," he said."And that's safer because?""I'm a guy.""Right, and having a pair of dingle balls makes you invincible how?

I'll go," he said."And that's safer because?""I'm a guy.""Right, and having a pair of dingle balls makes you invincible how?

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

An untied shoelace can be dangerous,' he said.'I could have tripped.'She stared at him. A moment dragged by.'I'm joking,' he said at last.She relaxed. 'Really?''Absolutely. I would never have tripped. I'm far too graceful.

An untied shoelace can be dangerous,' he said.'I could have tripped.'She stared at him. A moment dragged by.'I'm joking,' he said at last.She relaxed. 'Really?''Absolutely. I would never have tripped. I'm far too graceful.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Familiarity breeds contempt and children.

Familiarity breeds contempt and children.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

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