humor

humor

I’d have been dead a long time ago if not for my friends, one of whom had just jumped off the cliff after me. I’d have been a lot more appreciative if he hadn’t pushed me first." ~Cassandra Palmer

I’d have been dead a long time ago if not for my friends, one of whom had just jumped off the cliff after me. I’d have been a lot more appreciative if he hadn’t pushed me first." ~Cassandra Palmer

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I was raised right — I talk about people behind their backs. It's called manners.

I was raised right — I talk about people behind their backs. It's called manners.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Elaine: Ugh, I hate people.Jerry: Yeah, they're the worst.

Elaine: Ugh, I hate people.Jerry: Yeah, they're the worst.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. There is no fun in doing nothing when you have nothing to do. Wasting time is merely an occupation then, and a most exhausting one. Idleness, like kisses, to be sweet must be stolen.

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. There is no fun in doing nothing when you have nothing to do. Wasting time is merely an occupation then, and a most exhausting one. Idleness, like kisses, to be sweet must be stolen.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I have never read The Joy of Crap. Sounds disgusting. I have, however, read The Joy of Sex. Not in a while, but I think it's one of those classics you can come back to again... and again.

I have never read The Joy of Crap. Sounds disgusting. I have, however, read The Joy of Sex. Not in a while, but I think it's one of those classics you can come back to again... and again.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I don't really like coffee, she said, but I don't really like it when my head hits my desk when I fall asleep either.

I don't really like coffee, she said, but I don't really like it when my head hits my desk when I fall asleep either.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Look. Survey. Inspect. My hair is ruined! I look like a pan of bacon and eggs!

Look. Survey. Inspect. My hair is ruined! I look like a pan of bacon and eggs!

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Riley : "Do you want to claw at me, kitty-cat? Come on."Mercy: "Sorry, I don't beat defenseless puppies.

Riley : "Do you want to claw at me, kitty-cat? Come on."Mercy: "Sorry, I don't beat defenseless puppies.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I came to the table, pulled up a chair, and sat. “Everyone brought a pet. I feel left out.” An enthusiastic howl broke the silence, and Grendel bounded through the doorway. He galloped through the steak house, skidded on the floor, smashed into my chair, and dropped a dead rat on my lap. Awesome.

I came to the table, pulled up a chair, and sat. “Everyone brought a pet. I feel left out.” An enthusiastic howl broke the silence, and Grendel bounded through the doorway. He galloped through the steak house, skidded on the floor, smashed into my chair, and dropped a dead rat on my lap. Awesome.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

No. Don't distract me with your sexy talk.

No. Don't distract me with your sexy talk.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I felt this awful obligation to be charming or at least have something to say, and the pressure of having to be charming (or merely verbal) incapacitates me.

I felt this awful obligation to be charming or at least have something to say, and the pressure of having to be charming (or merely verbal) incapacitates me.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

This paper, by its very length, defends itself from ever being read.

This paper, by its very length, defends itself from ever being read.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

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