humor

humor

I was also built from delusional optimism and folly.

I was also built from delusional optimism and folly.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?

If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I love being a wizard. Every day is like Disneyland.

I love being a wizard. Every day is like Disneyland.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Holy mother of rectangles.

Holy mother of rectangles.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

What should I say? ‘Well, the murder was a little upsetting, and the fire did worry me a bit. I was nearly date-raped and my ex best friend is crazy. But, hey, at least I’m making an A in History’?

What should I say? ‘Well, the murder was a little upsetting, and the fire did worry me a bit. I was nearly date-raped and my ex best friend is crazy. But, hey, at least I’m making an A in History’?

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Excuse me? Tonight you represent every dateless woman in this city, every woman who's about to sit down to a lonely meal of Weight Watchers past primavera she's just nuked in the microwave. Every woman who will get into bed tonight with a book or reruns of Sex and the City as her only companion. You are our shining hope....But no pressure.

Excuse me? Tonight you represent every dateless woman in this city, every woman who's about to sit down to a lonely meal of Weight Watchers past primavera she's just nuked in the microwave. Every woman who will get into bed tonight with a book or reruns of Sex and the City as her only companion. You are our shining hope....But no pressure.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I hate patience. Slows everything down.

I hate patience. Slows everything down.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Written on her tombstone: "I told you I was sick.

Written on her tombstone: "I told you I was sick.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Could you just call me Pigeon?” he asked the teacher when she read his name.“Does your mother call you Pigeon?”“No.”“Then to me you are Paul.”...“Nathan Sutter,” the teacher read.“My mother never calls me Nathan.”“Is it Nate?”“She calls me Honeylips.

Could you just call me Pigeon?” he asked the teacher when she read his name.“Does your mother call you Pigeon?”“No.”“Then to me you are Paul.”...“Nathan Sutter,” the teacher read.“My mother never calls me Nathan.”“Is it Nate?”“She calls me Honeylips.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

She's under duress," Peaseblossom said."I don't care if she's under duress, over it, or alongside it," Moth said. "Nothing in this world supersedes cake.

She's under duress," Peaseblossom said."I don't care if she's under duress, over it, or alongside it," Moth said. "Nothing in this world supersedes cake.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

You called me at four thirty-four....I hate four thirty-four. I think four thirty-four should be banned and replaced with something more reasonable, like, say, nine twelve.

You called me at four thirty-four....I hate four thirty-four. I think four thirty-four should be banned and replaced with something more reasonable, like, say, nine twelve.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I'm about as intimidating as a butterfly.

I'm about as intimidating as a butterfly.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Your experience on this site will be improved by allowing cookies.