humor

humor

Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it.

Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Casey doesn't trust him.""Casey doesn't trust anyone," I replied. "He's paranoid like that. I mean, come on, he's a werewolf who installed a nanny cam in his kids' room." I pointed my spoon at Ali for emphasis. "A nanny cam.

Casey doesn't trust him.""Casey doesn't trust anyone," I replied. "He's paranoid like that. I mean, come on, he's a werewolf who installed a nanny cam in his kids' room." I pointed my spoon at Ali for emphasis. "A nanny cam.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Here's something for you to remember; you might have been born into money, but you came out of a vagina the same as everyone else. Popping out of one that's rich doesn't make you anything but lucky, or susceptible to being stuck your own arse. Whichever.

Here's something for you to remember; you might have been born into money, but you came out of a vagina the same as everyone else. Popping out of one that's rich doesn't make you anything but lucky, or susceptible to being stuck your own arse. Whichever.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Running ain't no bad thing. Leastways if you run in the right direction.

Running ain't no bad thing. Leastways if you run in the right direction.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.

So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I care. They bother me. And that's why I'm stupid. That makes me exponentially more stupid than stupid. I'm stupid to the power of stupid.

I care. They bother me. And that's why I'm stupid. That makes me exponentially more stupid than stupid. I'm stupid to the power of stupid.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Forget men, I want to marry my MacBook. It’s dependable, reliable and you can even go shopping with it.

Forget men, I want to marry my MacBook. It’s dependable, reliable and you can even go shopping with it.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Heroism doesn't pay very well. I try to be cold-blooded and money-oriented, but I keep screwing it up.

Heroism doesn't pay very well. I try to be cold-blooded and money-oriented, but I keep screwing it up.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I stood my ground. "You evil scientist are all the same--evil. Count me out."Fang and I brushed past Mr. God and walked quickly but smoothly to the exit. It was barely noon, and I'd already made a huge enemy.Dang, I'm good.

I stood my ground. "You evil scientist are all the same--evil. Count me out."Fang and I brushed past Mr. God and walked quickly but smoothly to the exit. It was barely noon, and I'd already made a huge enemy.Dang, I'm good.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Sit, Phantom!" Ivy cooed. "On your bottom!""Oh, for goodness' sake!" Gabriel put down his book and pointed a longer finger at Phantom. "Sit," he commanded in a deep voice. Phantom looked sheepish and sank straight to the floor.Ivy scowled in frustration. "I've been trying to get him to do that all day! What is it with dogs and male authority?

Sit, Phantom!" Ivy cooed. "On your bottom!""Oh, for goodness' sake!" Gabriel put down his book and pointed a longer finger at Phantom. "Sit," he commanded in a deep voice. Phantom looked sheepish and sank straight to the floor.Ivy scowled in frustration. "I've been trying to get him to do that all day! What is it with dogs and male authority?

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

A succubus on the set. Strike that, the health-conscious kid sister made it two… succubuses. Succubusees? Succubi? Stupid Latin correspondence course.

A succubus on the set. Strike that, the health-conscious kid sister made it two… succubuses. Succubusees? Succubi? Stupid Latin correspondence course.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Principal Principal: Where's your late pass, mister?Errant Student: I'm on my way to get one now. PP: But you can't be in the hall without a pass. ES: I know, I'm so upset. That's why I need to hurry, so I can get a pass. Principal Principal pauses with a look on his face like Daffy Duck's when Bugs is pulling a fast one. PP: Well, hurry up, then, and get that pass.

Principal Principal: Where's your late pass, mister?Errant Student: I'm on my way to get one now. PP: But you can't be in the hall without a pass. ES: I know, I'm so upset. That's why I need to hurry, so I can get a pass. Principal Principal pauses with a look on his face like Daffy Duck's when Bugs is pulling a fast one. PP: Well, hurry up, then, and get that pass.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

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