humor

humor

Chuck Parson did not participate in organized sports, because to do so would distract from his larger goal of his life: to one day be convicted of murder

Chuck Parson did not participate in organized sports, because to do so would distract from his larger goal of his life: to one day be convicted of murder

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Then there were the shabti, magical figurines that were supposed to come to life when summoned. A few months ago, I’d fallen for a girl named Zia Rashid, who’d turned out to be a shabti. Falling in love for the first time had been hard enough. But when the girl you like turns out to be ceramic and cracks to pieces before your eyes—well, it gives “breaking your heart” a new meaning.

Then there were the shabti, magical figurines that were supposed to come to life when summoned. A few months ago, I’d fallen for a girl named Zia Rashid, who’d turned out to be a shabti. Falling in love for the first time had been hard enough. But when the girl you like turns out to be ceramic and cracks to pieces before your eyes—well, it gives “breaking your heart” a new meaning.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Harry, we saw Uranus up close!” said Ron, still giggling feebly. “Get it, Harry? We saw Uranus — ha ha ha —

Harry, we saw Uranus up close!” said Ron, still giggling feebly. “Get it, Harry? We saw Uranus — ha ha ha —

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

And so the Universe ended.

And so the Universe ended.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Look, Laszlo. I'll have the dentist with me, and I don't want to alarm her any more than necessary. So take Vanna out of the backseat and stick her in the trunk."Shanna halted. Her mouth dropped open. Her throat seized up, making it hard to breathe.I don't care how much crap you have in the trunk. We're not driving around with a naked body in the car."Oh no! She gasped for air. He was a hit man.

Look, Laszlo. I'll have the dentist with me, and I don't want to alarm her any more than necessary. So take Vanna out of the backseat and stick her in the trunk."Shanna halted. Her mouth dropped open. Her throat seized up, making it hard to breathe.I don't care how much crap you have in the trunk. We're not driving around with a naked body in the car."Oh no! She gasped for air. He was a hit man.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself-like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself-like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I'm not bossy - I just happen to be more capable than most everyone else.

I'm not bossy - I just happen to be more capable than most everyone else.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

And Daniel?" She asked."Daniel was a player-""Hey!" "That's what they called the actors." Bill rolled his eyes.

And Daniel?" She asked."Daniel was a player-""Hey!" "That's what they called the actors." Bill rolled his eyes.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I see Atheists are fighting and killing each other again, over who doesn't believe in any God the most. Oh, no..wait.. that never happens.

I see Atheists are fighting and killing each other again, over who doesn't believe in any God the most. Oh, no..wait.. that never happens.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I couldn't claim that I was smarter than sixty-five other guys--but the average of sixty-five other guys, certainly!

I couldn't claim that I was smarter than sixty-five other guys--but the average of sixty-five other guys, certainly!

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

God, if you ever loved me, open my eyes for me when I'm being this stupid! (Ron)

God, if you ever loved me, open my eyes for me when I'm being this stupid! (Ron)

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Psychotics, say what you want about them, tend to make the first move.

Psychotics, say what you want about them, tend to make the first move.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

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