humor

humor

What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?

What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Why couldn't you turn into a fireball when we were on the same team!

Why couldn't you turn into a fireball when we were on the same team!

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Sir Beldevere: What makes you think she's a witch? Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt! Sir Beldevere: A newt? Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better. Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway!

Sir Beldevere: What makes you think she's a witch? Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt! Sir Beldevere: A newt? Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better. Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway!

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Well, thanks for not shooting anyone, I guess", said Marcus. "My contribution was to somehow refrain from peeing myself. You can thank me later.

Well, thanks for not shooting anyone, I guess", said Marcus. "My contribution was to somehow refrain from peeing myself. You can thank me later.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I sheathed my blade and glared at him. "And here I almost thought you weren't a complete bastard.""Well, that's your mistake, not mine.

I sheathed my blade and glared at him. "And here I almost thought you weren't a complete bastard.""Well, that's your mistake, not mine.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I'm not senile," I snapped. "If I burn the house down it will be on purpose.

I'm not senile," I snapped. "If I burn the house down it will be on purpose.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

The kiss originated when the first male reptile licked the first female reptile, implying in a subtle way that she was as succulent as the small reptile he had for dinner the night before.

The kiss originated when the first male reptile licked the first female reptile, implying in a subtle way that she was as succulent as the small reptile he had for dinner the night before.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Ambulances were cool. “You just want to fondle my extraneous body parts,” I said to the EMT as I picked up a silver gadget that looked disturbingly like an alien orifice probe, broke it, then promptly put it back, hoping it wouldn’t leave someone’s life hanging in the balance because the EMT couldn’t alien-probe his orifices.

Ambulances were cool. “You just want to fondle my extraneous body parts,” I said to the EMT as I picked up a silver gadget that looked disturbingly like an alien orifice probe, broke it, then promptly put it back, hoping it wouldn’t leave someone’s life hanging in the balance because the EMT couldn’t alien-probe his orifices.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Michael had to pound me a couple of times to convince me not to go stage a rescue." Shane shrugged. "He hits like a girl, for a vampire.

Michael had to pound me a couple of times to convince me not to go stage a rescue." Shane shrugged. "He hits like a girl, for a vampire.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

BE QUIET!!...What do you want...? I was in the middle of saying something nice...

BE QUIET!!...What do you want...? I was in the middle of saying something nice...

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Personally, I like it much better when someone else does the decision making. That way you have legitimate grounds to whine and complain. I tend to find both whining and complaining quite interesting and amusing, though sometimes--unfortunately--it's hard to choose which one of the two I want to do.Sigh. LIfe can be so tough sometimes.

Personally, I like it much better when someone else does the decision making. That way you have legitimate grounds to whine and complain. I tend to find both whining and complaining quite interesting and amusing, though sometimes--unfortunately--it's hard to choose which one of the two I want to do.Sigh. LIfe can be so tough sometimes.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

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