humor

humor

Show me somebody who is always smiling, always cheerful, always optimistic, and I will show you somebody who hasn't the faintest idea what the heck is really going on.

Show me somebody who is always smiling, always cheerful, always optimistic, and I will show you somebody who hasn't the faintest idea what the heck is really going on.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Help me, I can’t breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room.

Help me, I can’t breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

You can't save everybody. In fact, there are days when I think you can't save anyone. Each person has to save himself first, then you can move in and help. I have found this philosophy does not work during a gun battle, or a knife fight either. Outside of that it works just fine.

You can't save everybody. In fact, there are days when I think you can't save anyone. Each person has to save himself first, then you can move in and help. I have found this philosophy does not work during a gun battle, or a knife fight either. Outside of that it works just fine.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

You're an investigator - can't nobody find stuff out like a woman. Y'all put the police to shame, make the little investigative tricks they show on CSI and Law & Order: SVU look like counting lessons on Sesame Street.

You're an investigator - can't nobody find stuff out like a woman. Y'all put the police to shame, make the little investigative tricks they show on CSI and Law & Order: SVU look like counting lessons on Sesame Street.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Number of empty Ben & Jerry's containers: 3 -- two mint chocolate cookie, one plain vanilla. (Who buys plain vanilla ice cream from Ben & Jerry's, anyway? Is there a greater waste?)

Number of empty Ben & Jerry's containers: 3 -- two mint chocolate cookie, one plain vanilla. (Who buys plain vanilla ice cream from Ben & Jerry's, anyway? Is there a greater waste?)

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

He cleared his throat and held up one hand dramatically.“Green grass breaks through snow.Artemis pleads for my help.He grinned at us, waiting for applause."That last line was four syllables.” Artemis said.Apollo frowned. “Was it?”“No, no, that’s six syllable, hhhm.” He started muttering to himself. That’s five syllables!” He bowed, looking very pleased with himself.

He cleared his throat and held up one hand dramatically.“Green grass breaks through snow.Artemis pleads for my help.He grinned at us, waiting for applause."That last line was four syllables.” Artemis said.Apollo frowned. “Was it?”“No, no, that’s six syllable, hhhm.” He started muttering to himself. That’s five syllables!” He bowed, looking very pleased with himself.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me.

I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Sometimes you remind me a lot of James. He called it my 'furry little problem' in company. Many people were under the impression that I owned a badly behaved rabbit.

Sometimes you remind me a lot of James. He called it my 'furry little problem' in company. Many people were under the impression that I owned a badly behaved rabbit.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Rachel: You're a half-blood, too?Annabeth: Shhh! Just announce it to the world, how about?Rachel: Okay. Hey, everybody! These two aren't human! They're half Greek god!...They don't seem to care.

Rachel: You're a half-blood, too?Annabeth: Shhh! Just announce it to the world, how about?Rachel: Okay. Hey, everybody! These two aren't human! They're half Greek god!...They don't seem to care.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

It takes a lot of time to be a genius. You have to sit around so much, doing nothing, really doing nothing.

It takes a lot of time to be a genius. You have to sit around so much, doing nothing, really doing nothing.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they'd lock us up?"All the time.

Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they'd lock us up?"All the time.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I had a dream about you. We installed Dr. Robert Jarvik’s artificial heart in a mannequin and brought it to life, only to later kill it because a creature that’s all fake heart and no brain is what’s commonly called a “politician,” and must be destroyed.

I had a dream about you. We installed Dr. Robert Jarvik’s artificial heart in a mannequin and brought it to life, only to later kill it because a creature that’s all fake heart and no brain is what’s commonly called a “politician,” and must be destroyed. 

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

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