humor

humor

And the news got worse. It appeared that there was this whole other person Jesus Christ whose birthday a lot of people tended to confuse with mine. I was personally outraged. It was a long time before I forgave the Lord for that.

And the news got worse. It appeared that there was this whole other person Jesus Christ whose birthday a lot of people tended to confuse with mine. I was personally outraged. It was a long time before I forgave the Lord for that.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

people don't get meit's more rule than exceptionGod bless exceptions

people don't get meit's more rule than exceptionGod bless exceptions

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I'm here to tell you, there ain't much forgiveness in that old-time religion. That particular savior was a mean son of a bitch. If you sinned, honey, he was going to get you, no doubt about it.

I'm here to tell you, there ain't much forgiveness in that old-time religion. That particular savior was a mean son of a bitch. If you sinned, honey, he was going to get you, no doubt about it.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

He'd gone to church for forty years and was only getting worse. It seemed like this should tell God something.

He'd gone to church for forty years and was only getting worse. It seemed like this should tell God something.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I bet you've seen the fundamentalist bumper sticker that says, "God said it! I believe it! That settles it!" It must be a typo because what the driver really means is, "I said it! God believes it! That settles it!

I bet you've seen the fundamentalist bumper sticker that says, "God said it! I believe it! That settles it!" It must be a typo because what the driver really means is, "I said it! God believes it! That settles it!

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

They ought to make it a binding clause that if you find God you get to keep Him.

They ought to make it a binding clause that if you find God you get to keep Him.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Your Excellency, I have no need of this hypothesis.

Your Excellency, I have no need of this hypothesis.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

Before I could turn to look up, a voice boomed from the heavens: "What the heck is going on down there?

Before I could turn to look up, a voice boomed from the heavens: "What the heck is going on down there?

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

If I convert it's because it's better that a believer dies than that an atheist does.

If I convert it's because it's better that a believer dies than that an atheist does.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth . . . Then he said, "Let there be light." Which means he made the entire universe in the dark! How fucking good is that? He's brilliant.

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth . . . Then he said, "Let there be light." Which means he made the entire universe in the dark! How fucking good is that? He's brilliant.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

I had a standing agreement with god. I'd agree to believe in him, barely, so long as he let me sleep in on Sundays.

I had a standing agreement with god. I'd agree to believe in him, barely, so long as he let me sleep in on Sundays.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

The Maker of the universe with stars a hundred thousand light-years apart was interested, furious, and very personal about it if a small boy played baseball on Sunday afternoon.

The Maker of the universe with stars a hundred thousand light-years apart was interested, furious, and very personal about it if a small boy played baseball on Sunday afternoon.

Nov 24, 2024 - Fabian Biese>

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